I couldn't sleep the other night. So instead I did something productive and downloaded Cheaper by the Dozen
, edited out any non essential scenes and uploaded it to YouTube. Unfortunately YouTube could somehow tell that I was uploading something Fox selfishly wants to keep to itself and rejected me, so instead I had to upload the file to megaupload.
So, if anyone fancies it here's Jared as a high school douchebag
. I think I got all his bits, but to be honest I was fast forwarding, so if he did any lighting-fast drive-by bullying I could have missed it.
I should warn you, before you get invested, that Jared's character does not get any closure or redemption in this. We're rather left hanging as to what inner torment causes him to lash out at innocent small town newcomers. Some kind of cow or corn related childhood trauma perhaps? The writers chose to leave the details of Unnamed Bully's emotional journey up to us, and I think Jared's nuanced performance gives us all plenty to interpret. A rather more vexing issue is why Jared is the only person in the locker room wearing a shirt.
After that I started in on the copy of Flight of the Phoenix
on my hard drive. Which, as you can see on YouTube since it didn't care about this film, is really the tragic story of John Davis and his protective older redheaded lover
. You can download
it too, if you're into that sort of thing.
Jared isn't in the last scene, but I decided to keep in the outpouring of grief for emotional resonance. You may be able to tell from my use of the word grief that Jared dies... and I should warn you it's with little dignity. He also cries some unmanly tears of fear before that. Additionally, my unprofessional editing may have had a negative impact on the cinematography and narrative coherency. The plane crash is really quite complicated. You should actually watch this movie if it's on!